We’ve all heard these quotes:
“I have met the enemy. And he is me.”
“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.”
If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve come to understand that the enemy isn’t always someone else. The problem, many times, starts and ends with us.
We all have self-defeating patterns that need to be defeated. These patterns are entrenched ways of operating. They are unhealthy blind spots. Here are a few of mine:
• Overvalue work and undervalue relationships
• Wrongly assume I always have the right answer
• Lash out in anger
• Overcommit my time
The way to defeat self-defeating patterns is to first know what they are, and second, stay mindful of them daily. Yes. Daily.
You’ll need some daily trigger that helps remind you about some of your most toxic mindsets.
• I use the Clear app to make and review lists as I’m driving into work
• You can also set an alarm to remind you at an opportune time
• I’ve also gone the old-fashioned route and stuck a postcard on the bathroom mirror
Staying mindful of your self-defeating patterns is how you defeat them. This isn’t rocket science. It’s right there in the Bible. When the light shines, the darkness flees.